Current mood:	angry
Current music:	Andrew Bird- Heretics

five

The weekend has passed and so have all those shitty ass feelings.  I spent the past few days feeling immeasurably awful, thanks to some fabulously imbalanced hormones.  And this feeling was only amplified by the fact that I no longer have any friends who care.  I could actually waste away and no one would even notice.  I didn't actually do anything to deserve this, and I'm realizing that my old friends aren't even people I would want to associate with anymore, but still-- the realization fucking hurts.  I'm still in this hangover-ish state from being depressed.  The symptoms are as follows:

I'm restless to the point where I stay awake until 2 in the morning, only to toss and turn all night.  

I have literally no appetite, which doesn't bother me too much since I'd love to shed some, but I'm thinking that living on bottles of Poland Spring and the occasional mallomar isn't exactly healthy. 

My brain doesn't feel like functioning. Not very convinient considering I have a ridiculous amount of homework in physics and US this weekend.  All of which I saved until the last minute.

Basically, I need to get my shit together.  I want to be happy this year, seriously, I do.  Or at least be able to do well enough in school so that I can get into a good college and be happy there.  I'm beginning to accept that I'm one of those people who doesn't like highschool.  And maybe that's not such a bad thing.  Why would I want the best years of my life to be spent at Friday night "hang outs" playing frisbee and being felt up by guys I'm not even attracted to? (And yes, that was a total jab at Dutrash, my not-so classy ex group of friends.)

So now I'm going to get the fuck up, clean my room, clean out my closet, get some homework done, and be happy damn it. Or at least be a somewhat functioning member of society. Whichever comes first.